btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think i have two assholes
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
