Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize