My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
