i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
