I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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