I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
