I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
