i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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