Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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