i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
