Someone shit on the floor
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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