I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
