my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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