i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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