Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
