Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
