wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
