He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
