who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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