What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
