btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
