you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I wish there were birth control emojis
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
