Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
