And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
