Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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