32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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