You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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