How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
