News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.