You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
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I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
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I can't turn off my feet"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains