OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.