dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
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That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy