Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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