Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
