Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i wish my penis had a tongue
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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