i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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