My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
