Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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