uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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