Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
