you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
