do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
