he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
