I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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