Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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