Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
