batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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