We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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