New invention idea: vibrating tampons
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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