Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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