conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
