What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I need to calm my uterus...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
