He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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