I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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