My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
