it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
