How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
