More tranny stories later!
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
