Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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