ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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