never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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