I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
