I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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