office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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