oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
not ubering you a puppy
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
